i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize