smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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