So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize