It's like God shit irony all over that family
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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