No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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