im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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