apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize