You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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