found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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