When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize