Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
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just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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