She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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