One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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