You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just gargled with NyQuil
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize