My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize