I'm so fucking centered right now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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