Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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