Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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