I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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