I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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