This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
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If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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