Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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