so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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