I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize