He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize