"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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