I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize