she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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