Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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