My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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