I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize