Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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