Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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