my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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