My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
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I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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