We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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