do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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