I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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