Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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