college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I need water and some morals
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