I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize