i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize