Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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