I have demons in me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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