I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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