I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize