spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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