loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize