Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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