my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize